25.10.2025

This is the thought that made me create this website.

I will not go into too much detail about the story itself, but I saw a person talking about the fact, that their child thought it was ugly. Apparently that child was even bullied in school because of their prominent non-conventional features.

That child hated their own looks so much, that it even wanted to get plastic surgery.

The parent loved those features on their child, because it reminded them of their partner - the child's other parent, who they inherited these features from. The other parent felt bad that their child inherited their looks and wanted to allow that child to get plastic surgery.

The first parent got angry at that and wanted their child to accept the features they were born with, because they loved them and thought they were beautiful the way they are.

I heard so many stories like this. Children and adults all fight with their looks and their self-esteem.

There are always two larger opinions fighting each other in comment sections about this.

One side thinks that everyone is beautiful and it is a mistake to change natural features, because that's what makes them special as a person.

The other side thinks that there is a certain standard in society and people need to accept that. They also believe it is understandable that people wish to change their features and they are in support of it, if that makes the person happy.

I understand both sides, but the thoughts that go through my head are a little bit different, even though I probably fit more into the second category.

When I heard this story my first thought was that both parents are selfish.

One parent is selfish, because they created a child even though they were aware that their features are non-conventional and that child could inherit them and have a harder life because of it.

The other is selfish because they don't acknowledge their child's struggle and want the child to accept their personal opinion about what is beautiful as fact.

Regarding the first parent's selfishness: I am aware that non conventionally attractive people are and should be allowed to have children, but I don't understand why people don't want to acknowledge the fact, that this IS very selfish. The parent chose their own wish for a child over that child's happiness. Yes, it could have very well inherited the other parent's features, but it was still a gamble and they didn't care. Their and maybe their partners wish for a child was more important to them than the actual child.

This brings me to the second parent. Directly speaking: Who the fuck cares about, what you find attractive personally? Your child got bullied in school because of it, so obviously your child has some kind of disadvantage (at least at this current age) that you need to accept and acknowledge and help them with. Just because you think your partner is attractive, doesn't mean your child thinks so. Just saying that you find them beautiful won't change their life experience and the way other children treat them. Please accept that you were selfish just like your partner and chose to have a child regardless of their happiness, because you wanted to have a child with your partner.

To me saying they are beautiful is not necessarily wrong, because every culture and every person has a different opinion on true beauty - like the parent who loved those features on their partner. But it is important to also acknowledge that not everyone will like those features and sometimes they can even cause lifelong issues for the person. Most of the time people don't move to an entirely different country, because they wish to stay where they are. So, the beauty standards they are judged by won't really change too drastically - if ever - during their life time.

Here is where my opinion mostly differs from the second category. Even though that child is considered ugly by their peers, I don't believe they should be allowed to get plastic surgery.

In my opinion it shouldn't be allowed that children go through plastic surgery even if the parents allow it. Adults can do what they want, but children shouldn't.

Yes, that child will suffer because of their parents' selfishness, but there is a harsh truth people need to swallow: Some people will never think of themselves as beautiful. Even if they changed those features there is no guarantee that they will like themselves. Maybe their classmates will find fault in that as well and the bullying continues.

Sometimes people just regret their plastic surgeries and hate their new face.

There are many reasons why it's a bad idea to let children do whatever they want.

The only exception: Multiple therapists advise that this is the best solution.

I don't trust parents to make the right choice - I mean, they didn't make the right choice when they decided to have the child either. But I do believe that when multiple professional Therapist advise to do so, it would be the best for the child.

In this particular case the child went to a therapist and the therapist advised against the surgery. That child, as harsh as it sounds, would have to accept the fact, that they cannot change their features as long as they're young. (in my ideal world)

But in my opinion their parents need to atone for their selfishness either way. I believe they need to be liable for the damages they caused to their child and not only pay for any plastic surgery their child wishes to have when they are finally an adult, but also pay for additional schooling etc. if the child was bad in school due to mental health reasons caused by the bullying.

Those mental health reasons obviously don't need to be proven by the child. Bad grades automatically mean parents did something wrong - end of story.

I hate that people make children take responsibility for shit like that. We don't let them vote, because we know they are too "stupid" to comprehend the complex workings of society, but when it comes to grades - which influence their career in ways they are not able to understand either - we put the blame on them. Fuck that!

People always have children for selfish reasons, but there are never any repercussions for that unlike other times people do selfish things. I'm tired that no one wants to change that. I think that is very unfair to all children. They deserve better.

sdenden, 04:19